Blow me! A dangerous game indeed!

Hi,

I have missed you! Where have you been? Please don't hide like that again! Now give me a cuddle and tell me all you have been up to.

But first (and please extricate your sticky fingers from my tiny knickers - I am not yet primed for such intimacy) let me tell you of a very dangerous game I have just invented. It involves interesting words and phrases. It involves everyone I encounter. And, naturally, it involves sex.

Every day, I think of a little-used word or short phrase, one that was, perhaps in earlier, more loquacious times, everyday. And I etch it into my mind. I have to be careful here. I have to be very careful. For, if anyone utters said word or phrase during the next twenty-four hours, I have to offer myself to them. On a plate. On a table. On the floor. On a bed. Or (my current favourite) in a car. Male or female, young or old (the game is neither ageist nor sexist) I have - before we part - to make it very plain that I am instantly open to their every sexual whim. Every. Even if 'synchronicity' - that was last  Saturday's mot when I had a vague notion I was going to bump into Sting at Morrison's meat counter - is your final word on this Earth, I promise to jump you before your corpse is cold. Yes, raising the dead is just within my remit.

So far, I have been spared embarrassment. So far. However, as days slip by with sex-greased ease (and, by the way, you may slip your fingers in again: I am ready now, very ready indeed), my chosen triggers are becoming more mainstream. Monday was 'cornucopia'. Tuesday was 'truculent'. Wednesday was 'pugnacious'. Yesterday was a rather apposite 'Blow me!' And today is... I am simply not telling! That would be too easy. Yes, okay, I am easy, but not that easy! But I'll give you a clue. Sherlock Holmes often exclaimed it (okay, perhaps I am that easy).

Now go expand your vocabulary. Coin a rare phrase. Impress your friends with your arcane lexicon and you never know: there may be, skulking in the shadows, a not unattractive, a not unshapely, a not sexually unproficient, me. Yes, You guessed it: 'litotes' was my Sunday word.

I love language so much, I am prepared to fuck for it, ready to offer my body on the altar of lexical diversity, with the sole aim of keeping our beautiful tongue as subtle and splendid, as candid and colourful, as it ever was.

Have a great week. Wrap your tongue around some tasty words and you never know: I may be wrapping my tongue around you.

Lots of love,

Alexandra xxx