Measuring up: get your cut-price copy today!

Hi!

From today and for a limited period, 'Measuring up - an indispensable compendium of eclectic erotica' is available at a vastly reduced price. The book is, as the title suggests, a collection of naughty short stories, many of which have at their core deliciously dark and bitter pips; for such is life: occasional sweet mouthfuls of fruit and a stomachful of guilt. Well, my life, anyway.

So, go on! Treat yourself. Sink your teeth into the most secret and succulent parts of me. Chew me over. Ruminate. And all for less than a buck buck buck!

'Measuring up' on Amazon

Take care till next time,

Alexandra xxx

Excerpt from Measuring up:

I stepped to his side, pointed pencil towards paper then nervously swapped hands and began.

'Right. Okay. Could you tell me when... you last had sex?'

His answer was immediate.

'Two weeks ago. Girl I met in the pub. She was very...'

While ticking the relevant box, I cut his anecdote dead.

'Okay.' That was the fourth okay in as many sentences; I promised myself I would not say it again. 'And when did you last masturbate?'

'This morning. In the shower.'

This time, my smile was natural.

'Again, a bit more information than required, but thank you.'

I set the clipboard down.

'O... As a stimulus, I'm going to show you a short film. It is erotic in nature. At its conclusion, I'm going to measure your response to the stimulus. Do you understand?'

'Yeah. You're going to show me a dirty film and then measure my dick.'

His robe already displayed a promising bulge.

'Yes. I suppose I am. Are you happy with that?'

He nodded though looked suddenly thoughtful.

'Is your lack of underwear part of the stimulus?'

Was it so obvious? The room suddenly became even warmer. I bought myself a few moments to think.

'Sorry?'

He gazed at me as if I were naked, and I wished I'd got a receipt for the moments - they were totally fucking useless; thinking was impossible.

'Is the fact you are bare but for your smock relevant in any way?'

Both for its own sake and as a homophone, 'bare' conjured up images of Geoff and Pam. His cock in her arse. His cock in her mouth. The self-same cock I had fellated in this self-same room. I retrieved the clipboard, hugged it to my pointy breasts and stammered.

'Er, no. Not at all. Think of me as, er, simply part of the furniture.'

He snorted.

'Knickerless furniture?' Another, though gentler, snort. 'I'll try, but it's going to be hard.'

I ignored his smiling innuendo.

'Are you ready?'

'Yeah. Fire away.'

After stepping back out of his eye-line, I pressed the remote and the screen slowly lowered. It was all part of the process, added immeasurably to the anticipation. At least, that was the theory. Lights dimmed. Darkness. The thought of what was to follow made me dizzy with desire. A trickle tickled my inner thigh. I reached down, lifted my uniform and swept it up, brought it to my mouth and destroyed the liquid evidence of my arousal. Unsurprisingly, it didn't help at all. Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck me rigid. If I'd touched myself again, I would have climaxed. Knees shaking, heart thudding, I clicked the remote once more and the movie began to play.

The blonde in the geeky glasses chewed her lip then started to strip. The black dress simply fell from her and she stepped out of it. She was young, slim, but deliciously curvy. Her black underwear was decadently delicate. The bra was next to go. Its removal was classic burlesque. Unfastened straps flapping, she clasped the cups to her bosom and caressed the hidden heavenly hemispheres while her eyes asked the inevitable questions. Shall I? Shan't I? As the teasing garment was tossed away, the subject's chair began to rock and hoarse expletives filled the air.

'Fucking hell! Fuck me! Fucking gorgeous tits!'

So immersed in the stimulus was he, that I believed Jake had forgotten I was even there.

The girl's heels were precariously high. The black hold-ups added inexplicable allure. When she finally lowered her knickers to display the most beautiful shaved pussy, the subject hissed some more.

'Oh, fuck! Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck...'

Sinking to her knees before the rock hard cock that now filled almost half the screen, she whispered huskily.

'Hey lover! I'm gonna suck your cock, big boy! You like that, don't you? Mmm, course you do. And I'm gonna swallow; swallow every fucking drop.'

Red lips parted and the tip disappeared. A delicate hand encircled the shaft and began to stroke. The sounds were intoxicating. Slurping. Groaning. The smacking of lips. Jake was breathing heavily. The chair was rocking insistently. I took a couple of silent steps and peered over his shoulder. What I saw took my breath.

His gown was open, chest, belly and legs on full display. His tanned body was slim, smooth, and beautifully defined. He had no pubic hair. No body hair at all. He was perfect. And that was without taking into account his incredible cock. Fuck. What a monster. Not only was it long, but it was very thick, and the head was rounded like a club. He stroked it lovingly, coaxed it carefully, alternately squeezed and released then stroked it some more. A wetted finger circled the underside of the head as he grabbed his balls and thrust rhythmically from the hips.

I was aching to touch myself. Lubrication again dribbled down my inner thigh. The on-screen cock lurched. The blonde coughed, spat out the pulsing flesh, then received one, two, three shots of cum onto her beatific face. The picture froze. I picked up my measuring device and stepped from the shadows.

'May I?'

'Oh, god, yes!'

Freud tapped me on the shoulder.

'Haven't you forgotten something, mein liebes Mädchen?'

I snorted derisively.

'What? To ask him if I remind him of his mother?'

'Nein! Nein! Die Latex Handshuhe? Die... Latex gloves?'

With difficulty, I blanked him out, had long ago decided I was not going to be party to his twisted little psychological games. And no way was rubber coming between me and this prodigious prick. Not in any of its titillating medical guises. Glove-free, I rested one end of the rule on the smooth pubic bone then eased the sliding stop downwards till it rested on the tip of the obscenely swollen glans.

'That's 9 inches.' I couldn't help but express my admiration. 'Wow. Lucky boy! Now let's see if the girth is equally impressive.'

Outwardly phlegmatic, while internally in chaos, I reached into my pocket for the tailor's tape measure. The unexpected touch of his hand on my arm almost took me over the edge. I froze. He whispered.

'I've got more than that. Try again.' 

*****

Inversion 1. Nearly there!

Hi

Thanks for calling in. It means a lot. It really does :)

I love tweaking in all its forms. Mental. Metaphorical. Physical. Especially physical. I love being tweaked too. Well, the tweaking is almost over! For part one at least. There will be six volumes when all is said and done. This story has stretched me to the limit and keeps doing so. Everything is in place to write the link from the recently completed Book 5 to the long-since-completed Epilogue. I'll probably call it Book 6. Phew.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, Inversion1 is a 6 volume story of space travel, of human survival against the odds, and of war, artificial intelligence, sex and subtle aliens. And part one is nosing down the birth canal towards daylight. See for yourself the degree of dilation then read the baby's first words gently scribed on her head.

Inversion1

Book 1: Only who is left

Part 1: Alex5

Daylight filtered through my eyelids. A cool pillow hugged my head and hair tickled my nose. Despite the familiar elements, I found myself confused, disorientated. Deep breaths calmed me. Sweet perfume offered me perfect coordinates. I reached out, circled Emma's slender waist and pressed myself into her naked body. She yawned. A stretch momentarily tore her from me then she relaxed and snuggled her buttocks back into my groin. I kissed her neck, cupped a pert breast and gently rolled the nipple between my finger and thumb. It grew and hardened. She moaned, slowly rolled over and sleepily kissed my lips. Her left hand reached for my genitals, surrounded the loose flesh of my scrotum and squeezed. Surprise prised opened my eyes. She was grinning; her green eyes were flashing. Slender fingers spidered up my swelling shaft and stroked me into hardness.

'Good morning, Alex.' Her voice was a throaty whisper. 'Fuck me again, Sweetheart.' 

'You have a filthy mouth, Emma9.'

'It's 'cos of where you make me put it.'

I grabbed her long blonde hair and forced her head beneath the covers.

*

Inversion 1: Book 1 on its way!

Hi

What a week that was! Maintained my weight. Ate whatever what I wanted - and by that, I mean I ate whatever I wanted! And, thankfully, pleasingly, orgasmically, he reciprocated.

So, yes, that book. That bloody book! Well, it's been a long time in the coming (we have at least that much in common, my faithful book and I), but, apart from a couple of chapters to tie up the ends and much rereading and tidying, it is getting there. It will be somewhere in the region of 200k words by the time it is finished, so I'll probably divide it into 6 or 7 volumes. It is a good feeling to know the journey is almost over, though I will miss it like hell once I've set it free.

So close to completion am I, I have begun looking at potential covers. It's not scifi. It's not erotica. It's somewhere in the middle. And so I need to let the covers speak clearly of what lies within, thus enabling the reader to be aware of what they are buying into. And all this without being too clichéd.

A couple of examples appear below. What thinkest thou? Too obvious? Not obvious enough? Would you know there was going to be graphic descriptions of fucking within the pages, most of it in alien environs?

I'd truly appreciate any feedback. 

Be good and keep healthy till next time,

Love,

Alexandra xxx

Wow! It's so long...

... since I came here. So long since I came anywhere... I have this book to write. It has imprisoned me. It won't let me go. 175k and counting. It sits for a while leering at me then rips of my clothes and takes me while I am least expecting it. So since Xmas, I have lain beneath it, staring at the ceiling, while it has had its rather violent but always rewarding way with me.

It is an intriguing mix of sex and science fiction (which a very good friend of mine has dubbed an unviable combination, so please let it not be so!) and has been slowly taking shape between other projects (see my Amazon page for details!) for around seven years.

Thankfully, it's just popped out to the shop for Marmite, red pepper hummus and chilli chocolate -  all of which, presently and pleasantly, I expect to have smeared on my privates - so I have rushed off this little note for your information. I may be needing beta readers soon for book 1, tentatively entitled 'Only who is left' (around 32k words), so if you are feeling up to it, please drop me a line.

Anyway, shush! He's back. And I think he's brought a friend or two. Now where is that KY...?

Take care,

Love,

Alexandra xxxx

Merry Xmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope you receive not quite all you wish for - a life with no aspirations would be no life at all.

Best wishes to you and yours, both for Christmas and for the impending New Year.

Lots of love,

Alexandra xxxx

#free #erotica A naughty novella: Literal Fantasies

Phew.

Xmas shopping done. A bit of wrapping and it's as good as over. I don't like Christmas, to be honest. Haven't done do for many years. The excess. The gluttony. The selfishness. The disappointment. It's madness. Bloody madness. But you point it out and everyone yells, 'Scrooge!' Go on! Yell it! I can't hear you. Louder! Wow, I heard that. You really mean it, don't you?

Anyway. 

As an antidote to the saddest of celebrations, I am giving away a book. Unusually for me, It's not a collection of shorts, but rather a sleek and rather naughty little novella. Its genesis was also unusual. I received an email from an admirer (why are you laughing? I have admirers! I do!), a simple thank you, to which I replied. More emails followed. The gist of the emails - and the emails themselves, virtually word for word - provide the book with its prologue. What happens next is pure -  impure? -  fiction, but the seeds were very real. If that brings to mind 'Jack and the Beanstalk' then stop there. Though my book has 'fantasy' in the title, it has little in common with that pantomime favourite. Like 'Jack', the book is a journey, an education, a catharsis, but there are no giants, castles, golden eggs and similar fairy tale stuff. The people are very real. Sometimes too real. If that's possible. And it is.

Go on, grab a copy and have a Christmas wank on me. So to speak.

Literal fantasies on Amazon

Have a wonderful Christmas, a very happy New Year, and take very good care of yourself. Till next time,

Lots of love,

Alexandra xxx

New writing: excerpt from 'Nina', part 14 of my sexy sci-fi novel,Inversion 1

Hi

Yes, it's been ages. Fucking ages, actually. What can I say? I've been writing. That sexy sci-fi novel I've half written leapt up and grabbed my creativity by the balls and won't let go. And though I tell it I have no balls, still it refuses to let go. That's a metaphor for yer.

I'm loving it, though. The story is weaving towards some sort of climax (interspersed with the other sort of climax) and seems to have a mind of its own. For example, a new character popped up, completely unexpectedly, fully formed and sexy as fuck. I love her, though have almost killed her off twice. Anyway, here's a short section of the latest action, a meeting between Nina, a humanoid female, and an actual female, which takes place on a very large spaceship. I do hope you enjoy it.

In the new year, I will hopefully have more time for you :)

Take care,

Alexandra xxxx

Excerpt from 'Nina', part 14 of 'Inversion 1'

The kiss was unexpected; the hand on my left tit was even more so. Both were unimaginably subtle, yet simultaneously intensely powerful. The two-pronged attack saved her life. Another moment and she would have been an inanimate mess. The stark contrast between the two outcomes momentarily immobilised me and two ineluctable truths became apparent:

1.   Life and death are arbitrary;

2.   Today I am the arbiter.

It was a role I had barely considered and for which I was totally ill-prepared. The responsibility was crushing.

A hand was in my hair and a tongue was in my mouth. Though slightly less alkaline, her saliva was almost indistinguishable from my own, a minor detail that gave me major confidence in my creative abilities. My left hand fingers combed through her long, dark hair then  twisted into a clump and forced our mouths into more passionate contact. An insistent knee parted her thighs and I pressed her against the wall. As our bodies eased together, tits clashed, parted and tessellated. My right hand followed her spine, sliding beneath the waist band of her cargo pants, over her coccyx and into her knickers, separating her arse cheeks before stabbing unsuccessfully at her tight, dry sphincter. She was gasping noisily, frantically sucking air into her depths. In response, I engaged my hitherto unused respiratory simulator and pumped hot, moist breath onto her face. A thud, an accompanying clatter and her gun was on the floor. Easing me back a pace, she untied the cord at my waist, peeled the gown from my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. Tits sprung free as I peeled off my vest. The gasp of raw pleasure that passed her moist lips was indescribably stimulating.

'Oh, my god.' Her open palm clasped her forehead. 'I'm a little dizzy. You're making me...'

I kissed her nose.

'You okay?'

'Yes. I just can't believe we're going to... to...'

Arousal slurred my expletive.

'Fuck?' Open mouthed, she nodded. I raised an eyebrow. 'As much as two women can fuck, yes, we are.'

There were many ways in which this was a new experience for me and, as they were becoming increasingly wont, secondary systems enumerated them.

1.  She is human.

2.  She is female.

3.  I don't know what she is thinking.

4.  I have clothes on.

Invading one's personal space can have many motives; invading one's clothing has but one, and her hand was now inside my knickers, her alien finger parting my virgin lips, its soft, twirling tip preparing to take the plunge. She paused and whispered.

'I... I never even asked your name. I'm sorry.'

'It's Nina.'

'Nina. That's beautiful. I'm Jenna.'

'I know.'

'So tell me, Nina, what is it you... need?'

Again her fingertip twirled and stirred my copious wetness.

'Pussy juice. I'm going to eat you out, Jenna.'

Her eyes rolled and closed and she fainted into my arms.

I lifted her up and cradled her. The softness of her flesh surprised me, as did the lightness of her frame. She was so young, so incredibly vulnerable. I held her till she opened her eyes, her big, brown, trusting eyes, then gently kissed her lips. She gasped as I playfully tossed her onto the bed. Sighed as I pulled off her knee-high boots. Moaned as I tugged at her cargo pants. Squealed as my teeth tore away her flimsy panties. Meanwhile, she helped herself from her t-shirt and freed her not unimpressive tits from a cleverly cantilevered bra.

Diving straight in, I slurped on her cunt. She came almost immediately, yet begged me to continue, my fingers and tongue moving quickly, lightly and untiringly, both on and within the hot, raw gash that gaped between her deceptively muscular thighs. I loved her taste, recognised immediately the combination of chemicals required and determined to add them to my own intimate signature at the earliest opportunity.

Every contact made her eyes roll and again she came, her cries ringing around the hard, bare, cuboid space.

'Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh fuck! Oh, Nina! What in the name of heaven are you?'

Her voice was ragged, her breath torn. I slid my tongue from her anus, my fingers from her squelching cunt and told her the unlikely truth.

'I'm a Resistance robot, come to kill you all. To steal your ship then travel to Inversion 1 and slaughter the whole goddamn Executive.'

She laughed, the convulsions pumping foaming juice from her slit. I lapped it up as she verbally expressed her incredulity.

'On your own?'

'No, of course not.' I echoed her laugh. 'With my brother.'

Three further orgasms and she was bordering on insensible. One more and she was again unconscious. If this female specimen were at all representative, humans were decidedly delicate creatures.